Angry rants. We have all experienced them. Most of the time we are victims of the rant, and some of us have been the perpetrators of the rant, spewing venomous words at random and letting the poison land where it will.
Some of us find ourselves targets of rants while expressing our opinions through social media. Often, people will respond to a rant with a similar attitude, using similar words, and end up adding fuel to the fire of the original ranter. This serves no purpose.
How well do you handle angry rants that are directed at you?
Reflecting on our own angry rants can help us muddle through rants when we are the target.
- For instance, have you ever noticed a time when you blew up at someone or about something that had nothing to do with the reasons or situations that made you angry?
- Often, we can be upset about something at home and yet take it out on someone at work, or vice versa.
- One person may make us angry, while another person suffers the effects of that anger because we feel uncomfortable speaking up to the one(s) who caused the anger. We hurt the ones we love with this type of angry rant because we trust them to NOT leave us.
The important thing is to recognize what is really happening.
It is important to understand the mental process behind people’s rants. They are often afraid of change and are fearful of people who are “different” from them. This fear causes them to lash out verbally against whatever they perceive to be threatening their way of life.
“It’s Not About You” is an excellent article that explains how to deal with these ranters.
“Understanding that you aren’t responsible for other people’s behavior is liberating. When you know that words spoken in anger aren’t really about you, the attack, while still unpleasant, doesn’t have to damage your self-esteem. It’s also easier to find a way to forgive the other person.”
Now in its sixth edition and recommended by therapists worldwide, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook has been the unparalleled, essential resource for people struggling with anxiety and phobias for almost thirty years.